


Moments Like This

by mxy



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2018 Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Angst, Closeted, Cute Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Dan Howell Needs A Hug, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Comfort, Dan Howell/Phil Lester Fluff, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Insecure Dan Howell, M/M, Panic, YouTuber Dan Howell, YouTuber Phil Lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-24
Updated: 2018-05-24
Packaged: 2019-05-13 08:06:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14745074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mxy/pseuds/mxy
Summary: What actually happened when Dan and Phil remade their Manchester vlog in the Giving the People Want They Want video.





	Moments Like This

It was for their friends.

  
They were meeting Martyn and Cornelia to discuss some last minute alterations to their stage show.

  
It was for the fans.

  
The loyal Phangirls and Phanboys who had been with the pair since the start of their narrative, they had slaved over creating literature, art, and gif sets for the duo, always being a constant in the boy’s crazy live’s. The video was strictly fan-service. Something the fans could have before the couple would be too preoccupied with the tour to upload on their respective YouTube channels.

  
It was for the video.

  
That’s what the two told themselves over and over again as if their impromptu trip to their former hometown required some kind of justification. It was for…

  
“Dan.” The older man’s voice broke him out of his revere pulling him back to reality. Dan turned his head toward his boyfriend’s. Dan allowed himself one moment—just one—to take in Phil before internally scolding himself.

  
His raven-hair was styled into a quiff, framing his sky-blue eyes while his spectacles emphasized their anime-like size and shape. He wore a light gray Calvin Klein jumper and a thick jacket accompanied by dark jeans.

  
“Sorry, it’s just…”

  
“Manchester,” the older one finished. He was correct to some degree, the feeling of the city coursed through him, though it wasn’t what was distracting him.

  
It was the smile Phil wore that was subtle and heart-breaking that distracted him. Phil blushed under Dan’s gaze and the younger thought about teasing him, but he chose not to act on those temptations.

  
The taxi came to a screeching halt and the moment was over.

  
Phil paid the driver, handsomely, and exited the vehicle with his boyfriend in tow.  
Leaving the warm taxi and hitting cool 20℃ air was difficult for the pair, but they soon acclimated to the drop in temperature and begun preparing for the vlog ahead.

  
Standing on the pavement, Phil unzipped Dan’s intricate, black backpack and retrieved the camera. The brown-haired boy stood unmoving until Phil turned to him and handed him the small device.

  
He shouldn’t let his hand linger; not in public. But as their hands met Dan approached the shorter man and hoped his body was enough to block the scene from the eyes of pedestrians and passersby.

  
Phil didn’t pull his hand away or initiate further contact. Just sighed heavily, vocalizing Dan’s thoughts.

  
_I wish it wasn’t like this_ , Dan thought.

  
“We should go,” Phil said softly.

  
So they did.

  
They turned on the camera and documented their journey through Manchester, recreating specific moments from the original vlog that inspired this rendition.

  
The fountain. The wheel. The Starbucks. The demonic bridge troll.

  
At last, they turned the camera off. Dan felt himself relax, being in public not only made him extremely anxious, but it also limited the types of interactions he could have with Phil; the camera only worsened these conditions.

  
However, he liked filming. For the fans, for himself even. It was a complicated paradox. As Dan became lost in his internal turmoil, it was Phil who rescued him.

  
Phil loved to rescue him.

  
The day went on, visiting friends, reminiscing in silence or through conversation. As the sky deepened from a pale blue to a deep cobalt, Dan suggested hailing a taxi.

  
Phil had other plans.

  
The blue-eyed man pulled him into the nearest restaurant, passed the host station and diverted the clusters of people until they reached the back of the establishment.

  
“Where are we going?” Dan called almost laughing.

  
Phil was gently guiding him to a door, gripping Dan’s wrist; not his hand. Never his hand. Not here. Not in public.

  
This gateway led to a staircase and at the base of the stairwell was a hallway. Dan questioned if Phil knew where he was going and if he did know where he was going how he possessed—or acquired—such knowledge in the first place. He decided against asking.

  
Finally, Phil had taken them to an enclosed patio-like area. Considering it took half a decade and a million turns to get there it was, unsurprisingly, deserted.

  
When they entered, Phil immediately grabbed the straps of Dan’s backpack using them as leverage to pull him closer.  
Dan felt himself go cold. Even though they were in relative privacy, these actions in public would risk exposure. He knew that they both consistently dropped subtle—sometimes blunt—hints regarding their romance to their fans; he knew that. However, it was an unspoken rule between the pair that they would continue to be careful, cautious and platonic in public settings until both of them came out on their own terms. It was something that had to be treated with care.

  
Which is why Dan furrowed his brow and stepped away from his boyfriend, causing Phil’s hands to fall to his sides.

  
“We should go,” his words echoing the ones Phil had said at the start of the day.

  
“We’re safe here, Bear.”

  
“You don’t know that.” Dan looked around, widely, as if there would be a hidden camera or eager fan lurking amongst the walls.

  
It was for his friends.

  
They saw Martyn and Cornelia had a pint and, reluctantly, left after several hugs and strained ‘goodbyes.’

  
It was for the fans.

  
The day had been lovely. They visited the places that had been a staple in their Manchester lives and recreated the desired moments to solidify them.

  
It was for the video.

  
This is what the clips were for, to illustrate the commitment the pair had in fulfilling the fans wishes while reminding them of the humble beginnings of their joint careers.

  
It was for…

  
“This day was for us.”

  
“The fans,” Dan corrected.

  
“Not everything should be for the fans.”

  
Phil stepped forward and Dan did not budge. The older YouTuber shook his head and carded his hands through Dan’s curly locks before moving his hands to situate on Dan’s cheeks, the brown-eyed boyfriend trembled.

  
He became confused, perhaps disoriented and needed an answer. Now.

  
“Like what?” He was quiet. So quiet.

  
“Like moments like this.”

  
Dan’s eyes had been closed, until that response.

  
“Well, I would hope that these moments wouldn’t be for the fans, Phil! That would be completely ridiculous and—”

  
“Exactly.”

  
“Oh.”

  
He understood now. These rare times of solidarity and intimacy were not supposed to be burdened with thoughts of fans and fanfics and the community within the Phandom. And it shouldn’t be, ever. _For a plethora of reasons_ , Dan thought. Then he cringed at his own imagination and the concoctions it started building. This released some of his internal tensions.

  
“Live a little, Dan.”

  
At that, he had lost. He already had failed to keep his urges suppressed throughout the duration of the day. Stolen glances, fingers brushing, leaning in a little too far.

  
He moved his hands to fiddle with the others jackets, sending shivers down Phil’s body. He adjusted it before wrapping his hands around Phil’s backpack straps and pulling him forward.

  
It was for them.

  
These moments were only for them.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sm2S7lvgsBI (7:20-9:09)  
> Shoutout to my beta MCUsic_to_my_ears!


End file.
